The Boat

Written on December 13, 2017

I heard Your voice, so I set sail

But in the midst of the waves, my winds failed.

I found myself stranded in the middle of the sea,

Stranded from hope, stranded from dreams. 

Still I held on tight, as the waves crashed through;

I watched my pride fall victim to the truth.

Overcome by fear, I turned to You,

But in the midst of the chaos, I couldn’t seem to find proof

That You were still with me,

That this is what I was supposed to do;

That You were still listening,

That You’d be here soon.

And I started to wonder, would I ever see the end?

Would I ever see the shore? 

Would I come alive again?

I know that You are God; I know that You calm the seas.

I know that You can walk on water, so why haven’t You rescued me?

The rain starts to pour, so I brace for the wind.

I continue to seek cover in the shelter I’ve tried to build.

As the seas begin to rage, my strength begins to fail.

I thought You told me You’d be with me;

I thought You told me to set sail.

Now I find myself here, lost in the rain,

Stricken with fear, with doubt running through my veins.

This is Your doing! You led me astray!

Why couldn’t I have just stayed home, comfortable and safe?

I’m surrounded by darkness; my faith is gone.

God, please, won’t you rescue me? 

I want to go home. 

Home to familiar, home to insecure;

Home to normal, home to invisible.

God, I should know that You’re with me; 

I know I should have hope,

But I lost it all; 

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I’m sorry for shouting; I’m sorry for being rude,

But I get so frustrated, when I can’t seem to find You.

And in the midst of the darkness, a light began to shine through.

I heard a still, small whisper; I heard the truth.

“Oh sweet child, it’s okay to cry. 

It’s okay to be frustrated, but don’t miss this heart of Mine.

In the midst of the storm, your strength was supposed to fail.

You were supposed to feel resistance; the wind was supposed to be withheld.

You should’ve found yourself stranded; you should’ve felt attacked by the sea.

But through every single moment, I needed you to trust Me.

See, the light is coming; the seas have ceased to stir.

I held every moment; My presence was always where you were.

See, the dawn is coming; the ship will continue to soar

Until we reach the end, until we reach more.

And you’ll come alive again, because you’ve come alive before

When you let Me in, when you stepped out from the shore.”

So I journey on, desperately seeking the reward

That God is calling home, that God is calling me toward.

And yes, I stepped on the boat,

Not knowing what was ahead.

Yes, I was startled by the storm,

But it’s not over yet.

God called me to this boat; God called me to this sea,

And He didn’t pull me off

Because He loves me.